Do You Have- Loneliness of the Inner Self

Posted December 30, 2009 By Kathleen Fuller, Ph.D.

What is the solution for the loneliness of the inner self?  Like anything else it is a self esteem process and the first step is to become more aware.  And almost all of us parents and college students have some kind of loneliness, or eating issue, or we know a friend that does. I was talking to my web master and he shared a story about his daughter's first year in college. He said he went online to a chat room for parents. All he heard was each parent extremely worried about their college student. Most said, “All my son or daughter does is go to class, go back to their room and study. He or she doesn't have any friends and we are concerned as parents.”

My webmaster said,” My daughter hasn’t met any strangers. I'm very happy that my daughter is involved in sports and has learned to make friends. She is making good grades and has the social skills, plus she feels good about herself.” I said,” Well I know you Ray, and you were always involved with your daughter’s high school sports and activities or her clubs. I also know that you spent time with your daughter and praised her, which built-up her self-esteem and filled up her inner self.“  Ray models what the following book can teach you.  Read it especially if you have a high school student.  I highly recommend the book by Margo Maine called Father Hunger. This in depth well researched book explains the importance of a healthy father relationship. In contrast, if a student, male or female, chose to isolate and be distant from high school clubs, sports or other social activities, then where would they learn the social skills needed to adapt to a large college or university setting?  What if a student comes from a family that can't be so involved in their student’s life?  What if that student comes from a broken home, or a family with unrecognized addictions, or unrecognized mental health issues? What then? What chance does a student have to come from a full, mature, and adaptive inner self? Again what is the cure for the loneliness of the empty self or the inner self?  It is a process, and the first step is to take the action to become more aware.  I recommend my book, Not Your Mother's Diet, because it takes the reader through the journey of healing one’s empty self while healing food issues.  All of us have some kind of eating issue or we know a family member or friend that does.  Especially be aware that reading this book can help parents and definitely any college or university student.         What could you do right now? You can take an inventory that is included in my book, Not Your Mother’s Diet on page xi, xii and continue reading my book for solutions. As a jump start read the following and determine if more steps are needed.  Each person’s journey is unique, but certain behavioral similarities are fundamental at the start for nearly everyone who is affected with an empty inner self. To find out for yourself how immune or immersed you are in these biases, complete the Checklist for Eating and Weight Issues quiz by answering “yes” or “no” to the following questions. The results may surprise you, but they can also act as a catalyst and a wake-up call. Checklist for Eating and Weight Issues Have you ever: (1) Thought constantly about food or talked incessantly about dieting? (2) Felt overwhelming emotional stress? (3) Felt depressed with low self-esteem over several weeks, months, or longer? (4) Felt out of control? (5) Believed that all it takes to conquer weight issues is willpower? (6) Tried to restrict your diet to lose weight gained from overeating? (7) Felt guilty or ashamed about your eating habits or patterns? (8) Started eating, then found you couldn’t stop? (9) Eaten so much at night that you could hardly get up in the morning? (10) Experienced relationship or family problems because of overeating, dieting, bingeing or purging? (11) Held high expectations or standards for yourself and others? (12) Told family what you think they want to hear about your eating habits, rather than the truth? (13) Maintained a lower or higher than average weight? (14) Gorged yourself, then used exercise, vomiting, or laxatives so you wouldn’t gain weight? (15) Placed overt importance on your physical appearance? (16) Admitted physical appearance is of ultimate importance to your family and/or yourself? (17) Experienced swollen glands from vomiting? (18) Experienced menstrual irregularities? (19) Felt compelled to monitor what you or your children ate?    Let your answers act as a catalyst and a wake-up call and take a positive action.

Barefoot Body Paradise Everyday, Dr. Kathleen Fuller, Ph.D. #1 Amazon Bestseller Award Winner Leading Eating Disorder Expert The Surgeon of The Subconscious TM Dr. Fuller, a leading eating disorder expert reports on little-known tips too many tragically ignore in her breakthrough book Not Your Mother’s Diet BUY HERE

Click here to view archived articles