Frustration can start as an irritation that grows into anger, then hurt, and finally into the hostile feeling of frustration. This little girl came from a poor family with many addictions and had no way of learning or permission to express her feelings.  Because this experienced teacher understood this girl’s background, she taught her to stomp her feet when she's angry and to come and talk to her in private as soon as she could. 

Let's suppose that this young eight year old girl does not get any help with expressing her feelings. She may go through the next few grades with inappropriate anger expression. Furthermore anger expression is viewed by most teachers as disruptive and she could be labeled as Bi Polar. Clinically she could develop further features of a personality disorder and even turn to drugs or alcohol or develop an eating disorder because no one was able to talk or teach her at an earlier age. Just as good habits are formed bad habits are formed that then dictate our behaviors.

As referenced in my clinically researched book Not Your Mother's Diet The Cure For Your Eating Issues most little girls are taught it isn’t nice to express or feel anger. Most little girls learn to swallow it. Yet the hostility can flash deep inside for a moment before it’s swallowed. Even the hurt and betrayal you may feel in your work day world may also be swallowed so fast that that anger is nearly forgotten. And almost without a thought, the swallowed anger seems to magically go away.

Yet the result of swallowing anger (or any other strong emotion for that matter) is that eventually it comes out sideways in unconscious, uncontrolled behavior. The primal feelings of anger and betrayal that are swallowed become scattered through the subconscious, resulting in confusion. What happens to a little girl who grows up and thinks it’s paramount for her to focus on the feminine diversion of diet worries or the hunt for the perfect body? This confusion first born of denied anger becomes in many women or men a personal dieting cycle, because anger first has been denied over time and then stuffed down with food.

As a clinical mental health therapist I teach my patients of all ages and genders how to recognize and name their feelings. This is one of the first simple coping skills. The most basic feelings are irritated, angry, hurt, betrayed, frustrated, scared, sad, lonely and depressed.  You could try this technique, it works to help you be more aware of your feelings. At the end of each day have a little note book by your bed, and write down all the feelings you had during the day. That's it, it's so simple. See if you feel better or if you feel worse because of so many negative feelings. This is a clue for you to reach out and ask for help from a professional.