You can use the following patterns and characteristics as your guide to self-evaluation.  Be careful to open up to the possibility that you may have traits that need your attention and transformation. 
Denial Patterns:  (Denial is a defense mechanism that most people use to defend themselves against what they do not have to accept about themselves.)

• Do you have difficulty stating what you are feeling emotionally?
• Do you minimize, change, deny, regress what you really feel?
• Do you perceive yourself as completely unselfish and dedicated to helping others?

• Do you have trouble making decisions?
• Do you believe what you say or do or think is never ‘good enough?’
• Are you embarrassed to accept compliments, praise, or gifts?
• Do you have trouble asking for your needs or desires?
• Do you value other peoples’ opinions, judgments, feelings, and behaviors over your own?
• Do you view yourself as a lovable and worthy person?

• Do you let your values or standards slip to avoid rejection or other peoples’ anger?
• Are you very sensitive to knowing or hearing what other people feel and you seem to feel, the same?
• Are you extremely loyal to another even if that person’s behaviors are consistently hurting you?
• Do you put high value on others opinions, and advice more than your own inner truth, while you often feel afraid or anxious to speak up with a different opinion?
• Do you minimize or let go of your interests or hobbies in order to do what others or another wants to do?
• Do you accept sex when you want someone to really love you?

Control Behaviors

• Do you try to convince other people by giving them advice to do what they should do or think or feel?
• Do you hold resentments toward others when they don’t listen to your advice or help?
• Do you freely give advice and directions as to what to do without being asked?
• Do you give great or lavish gifts and favors to those you care about?
• Do you believe other people who you want to help, are not capable of taking proper care of themselves?
• Do you use sex to gain approval, acceptance or perceived love?
• Do have to feel needed in order to have a relationship with others in your life?

How many traits did you realize you have?   Are you willing to begin to change these traits a little at a time?   A book I recommend for further study is Co-Dependency No More by Melody Beatty.  Plus my blog has many articles that will help your self-esteem.  Go to http://www.kathleenfuller.net/wordpress/  and view the post for April 27th, 2010, also go to my articles on my website and read; Can I Change Him? Go to this link http://www.notyourmothersdiet.com/eating-disorders-self-esteem-articles.html